Gomen ne, Onii-sama 3-4

Well I wasn’t very happy with that last chapter so I decided not to sleep and just crank this one out too. Don’t expect this rate to continue.


 

Gomen ne, Oniisama Chapter 3 part 4

And so the Villain Descends From the Stage

 

Staring at Atlas who had fallen, I felt as though time had stopped.
Now, what the hell, is this?

“…..Atlas?”

Blood flows from his chest.
He inhales shallowly, and blood overflows from his mouth along with the exhalation.
His hand painfully stretched towards and touched my boots, and scratched feebly.

“Impossible”

An excited voice reaches my ears.
I realized it was a surprise attack, as the man’s excited voice echoed strangely through the dark forest.

“Hey, they’re here!”

The man who called for support loudly, the one who killed him, perhaps recognized the girl kneeling in front of the fallen man as having surrendered, as she sat there with her eyes wide open and muttered to herself.
The murderous intentions and hatred can be seen clearly in his faraway eyes, as he prepares one more arrow, this time for me.

At this rate, I’ll be killed-!

I created pillars of flame to surround myself, and with a cracking sound, my【vessel】was further damaged.

“Ii- ah….”

My heart pounds, and I stagger a few steps unsteadily before falling to my knees.
Mana leaks uncontrollably, feeling as though it’s burning my whole body.
It hurts.
The pain brings tears to my eyes, and I find it difficult to breathe.
If you continue to use magic in a state of mana deficiency, your mana source takes the strain as damage, and if it’s severe instant death is likely.
It’s only by chance that I’m not already dead.

“Ah, shit! -backup, come – kill-“

I can hear a voice intermittently on the other side of the flame shouting to kill me.
The flame roars. The heat won’t hurt me, but having made this large barrier of flame, the enemy is definitely aware of our position.
Surrounded by enemies, although this will serve as a temporary barrier, it’s not even close to preventing death.
I’m not sure of the exact position, but if enemy soldiers are around, it’s likely that there is some distance to the fort, and that I shouldn’t expect help.

My magical power is exhausted, Atlas has fallen, what can I do in this situation to escape- my thoughts are interrupted by the creaking of my aching【vessel】.

“…..O.. w…”

The hot air I inhale stimulates me to move, and my copper hair shines in the light of the flames as I gauge the reality behind them.
The appearance of the bloody Atlas was blurred and hazy, like a nightmare.

Without the support of Marquis Harvester, Gil-sama would be instantly eaten in noble society.
Now old man Harvester has passed away, Atlas is the only one of Gil-sama’s friends who has enough power to secure his safety.
Even if… even if this Atlas has deviated from the story, that fact won’t change.
If here and now, Atlas dies- it’s impossible for Gilford Ivaris to become the hero and savior of the nation.

“….Atlas! Please, show me your wound!”

Something like that, isn’t “Gilford”.
Something like that, isn’t the story I loved.
There is no meaning in me dying for an outcome like that.

Although my imagination scares me, I have a more immediate problem.
I can’t afford to be distracted by pain.
Rolling over Atlas’s fallen body, the arrow wound catches my eye.
It’s stuck deep in his chest, but it may be okay if I stop the bleeding quickly.
Forcefully tearing off the military uniform that became stiff with blood, I look into Atlas’s face that is losing color.

“To stop bleeding…”
“Like I said, I’m fine… Don’t… try to help me.”

Lying on his back, Atlas smiled as blood flowed from the side of his mouth― I tried to conceal that the wound was too deep.

“Don’t make that face.”

At long last I’ve come close, but all I can do is stare silently as Atlas bleeds with a wry smile.
It seems like I’m watching a nightmare I’ve experienced many times.
But with the smell of blood, the sight before my eyes, the pain coming from the【vessel】deep in my body, it reminds me that this is reality- yes, not a novel.

As I held his body painted by his crimson blood, with choppy voices we discussed landmarks and directions briefly.
It seems as though Atlas will die.
But although I understand it, part of me refuses to acknowledge it.

“This is no good. This is no good, Atlas.”

When Atlas dies, Gil-sama, what will happen to the hero― even though the hero may not become a hero.
Should I just give up here?

Ah, why am I so powerless even when I’m the Princess of the Inferno?
The magic power that seemed endless is gone, there is no help, and without the ability to save a single life, I’m just an ordinary woman, a human who can only be ashamed at my uselessness.

Don’t die, I won’t let you die, I won’t forgive you for dying here.
Atlas smiled bitterly at me as I connected meaningless words, looking at the flames surrounding us, with clouded brown eyes, quietly spoke.

“I’ll heal myself, so. Before this flame pillar disappears, go. I’ll catch up with you.”

So run away quickly before backup comes, is it?
Such a lie.
There’s no way he can use magic in this state.
To use magic that requires the utmost concentration while in a state of intense pain, is completely impossible.

“N, no. I disagree. Let’s go together? I’ll carry you…”
“…I’ll catch up later. You should go.”

While knowing that it’s impossible, I continue to make meaningless suggestions.
If I wished to live, I should have escaped promptly as Atlas told me to.
But.
As Atlas took a package out of his pocket with his trembling hands, it fell on the ground, and he murmured that there was something he wanted to apologize for.
The hand he placed on my head is losing warmth far too rapidly.

“Escape safely, then… next time… I’ll… invite.. You…”

The blood, doesn’t stop.
His breath becomes shallow.
His body temperature is falling.
The light is fading from his eyes.
A voice, whispering possibilities of the future, stops.

 

―Ah, this too, is useless.
Even if, I see it happen, I can’t help.

 

When I released Atlas’s hand that I was holding, it fell to the ground powerlessly.
He seems to have already lost consciousness, and there is no voice to angrily tell me to run already.
Looking up at the sky, perhaps to seek salvation, or simply avert my eyes from reality, the night sky, shimmering in the heat, causes the moon to appear as though it is wavering like a mirage.
Beautiful like a dream.

“…aah, I’ve failed.”

So.
This life feels as though it’s all a dream.
I was sick and unable to get out of bed, just looking outside the window, waiting for a visit, nothing created, nothing destroyed, unneeded by anyone, living as if I were already dead.
I was reborn in the world I dreamed of.
I got a healthy body, and could stay near my favorite character.
Although it was certainly painful, the freedom of life outweighed that, and I felt joy that would be necessary in the future.

But, it’s certain now that it’s impossible for Gil-sama to complete his life as a hero.
In the future, those who should have rebuilt the country, will vanish from the front stage in the middle of their path.
What is justice without destroying evil?
What is a hero if he falls before reaching the villain?
If the hero is unable to fulfill justice, what am【I】?

“I am… Origa. Origa Emelda Ruzil.”

But, the contents are, while born as a villain, a woman who smeared her favorite story with mud.

“Ha… haha.. aha, ha…”

Dry laughter spills from my mouth.
The future of the magicians, the future of this country, my sins, the anger towards the king, greed, obsession, it’s all pointless.
Since I got into this situation, it’s sure that I will die here.
It’s the result of the sin of my greed.
Because I couldn’t hold myself back and held my hand out to someone I shouldn’t have, I changed the story into such a thing.
As a result, the villain Origa won’t leave anything, won’t be remembered by anyone, will die without any meaning- she fell to such a low existence.
The me who is just a magician, has no value.
The me who is just a girl, has no meaning.
A me like this, isn’t what【I】wanted to be.

….I don’t care anymore.
It’s too tiring. In front of me, I can see Atlas’s body.
If he didn’t get involved with me, if I didn’t move around so much, I guess he probably would have continued walking forward with Gil-sama to knock me down.
That his life will be lost, I don’t care anymore.
When I closed my eyes and sighed, suddenly I recalled Atlas’s voice from a time long past now.

“Can we… become friends?”

That’s right… Atlas is my【friend】, Gil-sama’s best friend.
Dying while rescuing a friend, even if it means nothing as a villain, it still means something as a person.
Regardless of whether it actually makes a difference, if rescue doesn’t come, I’ll die soon anyways.
Whether I live for one more minute or one more second, it doesn’t matter if it’s just prolonging suffering.
But.

 

“….But, because you’re a friend.”
I’m sure you’ll forgive me.

 

Atlas’s cheeks are painted by warm blood, as his shallow breath gradually weakens.
I have never used healing magic.
That is, because it was sealed away since it’s water magic.
【Origa】never used healing magic in her life― but it doesn’t mean it’s unusable.
The method, Atlas showed me a while ago.
Surely, I can.
Not as Origa, I realized a smile from【my】emotions was forming on my mouth.

I removed the vial from Atlas’s pack, and pouring the contents onto my hand, several pale colored pills rolled out.
Given the magic power that will be lost trying to use an unfamiliar magic, with just one or two pills, it won’t be enough.
One by one, I placed them in my mouth, but I got impatient and poured them all into my mouth at once.
The chewed pills rapidly melt in the moisture of my mouth, and magical power rushes through my body, through this cracked【vessel】.
My body screams with pain as my magical power is recovered far too quickly- this is definitely a lethal dose.
Even so, there was no discomfort like before.
Because my death will not be in vain.

My heart beats erratically, and I find breathing difficult.
The eyes of Atlas lying on my knees are already beginning to lose the last traces of life.
I’m sure he didn’t see anything, didn’t hear anything.
As I wipe at the blood sticking to his cheeks, I smile slightly, to give myself some peace of mind.

“Atlas, I will help you.”

I was surprised momentarily by the words that exited my mouth, but when I realize what I’ve said, I feel happy.
To be able to act for the sake of a friend without having to consciously think about it, just for a little while, I wanted to feel this happiness.

 

―If this makes my death meaningful, then I’m satisfied with this conclusion.

 

As I applied the magic, along with a sound like glass breaking, my consciousness flew away as intense pain rushed through my body.


 

I’m still not happy.

Personal opinions

Next goes to side chapter translated by Oniichanyamete

 

31/1/17 EDIT: If you’re checking to see if I’m still alive, I am… I have like half of the next chapter translated but I’m being lazy and not doing the rest………… I’ll do it…. soon…?


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36 thoughts on “Gomen ne, Onii-sama 3-4

  1. TBH, I’m kind of disappointed in Origa in these few latest chapters. We know she has been under heavy pressure since forever and always about to break. But these ‘break’ of hers was bad. Wasn’t she suppose to be war veteran at this point?

    She used fire(which is acceptable, since that was her only weapon). But hell, yelling while escaping from enemies because she is being escorted due to mana exhaustion? Worrying about a ‘hero companion character’ acting out of the character she knew from the novel?

    Like

    1. It can’t be helped. Even she was Ability and past memory l, she is just child. Even in past live she mentally child and because desire to have healty body, because she cant di anything in past live. Because of that her disire and ‘duty’ became villain is contracdition. She want became hero but her role is villain. And futhermore because she force herself became villain even she was good person in heart, she break easily. If you in same position with her, I think you even faster become broken than her.

      Liked by 2 people

      1. Agree with Clesesia. In her point of view, this was the way to go (with her situation and wishes/dreams) and when things started spiraling out of her control, she broke.

        Like

      2. I understood why would she has a mental breakdown. But how she broke and what exactly pushed her to broke was kind of disappointing. She broke down by yelling while trying to escape enemy encirclement despite she is supposedly a veteran by now. And she broke down because a man that suppose to be ‘clean’ according to her plan were fighting a hard war and reject her fight (because seriously, Origa ran out of juice long ago.)

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      3. But, it better she broken than she die right? In the story from novel she read Origa will die when fighting with her Onii-sama. Its boring when story same with some book, and because of that she realized it was reality not some fiction in book she read.

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      4. reading your comment is like reading a translation from google translate, it’s doable but it is rather out of the world language!!!!

        Like

      1. An arrow largely thanks to her yelling. Seriously, if she has to brake down, she should kept her voice in a reasonable level, not yelling so loud it can echo in the woods.

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      2. @blkcandy: you are pushing your idea of how Origa should act. She is a war veteran, yes, but that also means she is as susceptible to all the ailment of such title entitled, if not even more. I am talking about, of course, PTSD. Her situation is one of most extreme, running from enemies without rest, mercy-killing your subordinates, learning your father figure has died, both physical and mental so drained it actually killing you… In real life, solider returns home with PTSD for way less, and they are actually trained for it, did you forget magicians are basically civilians thrown right into the heaviest battlezone?
        And we havent’ even touched how she was before walking into this war. Clesesia had it quite right, despite his broken English
        Are you seriously expect a broken person to control their own emotion? In middle of their outburst? A controlled emotion breakdown? That the most oxymoron thing I have read in recent memory.
        I can understand if you feels disappointed when the character didn’t live up to your image of them, but at least, acknowledges that her breaking down is not OOC but merely the sum of many factors that has been hinted, mentioned, built up till now.

        Liked by 1 person

    2. I’m not sure she’s actually a war veteran, so much as a PTSD poster child.

      Keep in mind, she didn’t have a ton of life experience previously, and she has never had a support structure in this life (even our current war vets with trauma get to share experiences with their fellow soldiers, but she seems to be feared or hated by just about everyone except for Atlas and Gil – who she won’t let herself see.) And she’s been slogging through it with one point of light – her love for the story and how it should go.

      At this point, she’s already been on the run without rest, presumably without a proper meal, bleeding out at the end, suffering severe mana depletion, and as if all of this isn’t enough, she’s been killing, and doing it close up, unlike before. Not just killing enemies, killing people she was supposed to protect. So, she’s not thinking well, not operating at her best, and she’s just found out that the story she has been living for is not going the way it should, and it’s probably all her fault.

      Then, her only friend is badly injured. Also her fault. The story she loves is going to be just as dead as he is. Also her fault. She did everything she was supposed to, except she wasn’t strong enough to be completely alone, completely hated. She couldn’t be Origa. She failed. All. Her. Fault.

      I’d break character too.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. For a moment I was sure Atlas was gonna die, and the novel was just gonna end up super dark. I’m kinda glad she has the resolve to not get sidelined by labels.
    Thanks for the translation!

    Like

  3. I wish he did die seriously, hes been a prick to her from the get go, grudgingly giving her his “friendship” lol fuck off die. She has made things much harder for herself if she didnt just get rid of the obstacles in her way from the beginning, she doesnt have to do it personally Im sure she couldve found others to do that job just as easily. Shes managed to wipe out a number of people, Im pretty sure more focused killing would be no problem.

    What I hate so far is how she understood the situation yet fell into this trap to begin with. I dont understand why she didnt just go to the source as soon as she tortured the information out of that guy.

    I wouldve gone to that King and fried his ass, Tortured the shit out of him and got him to reveal all those involved, but the King will be protected right? against her? doubtful she is too strong, they want to get rid of the very people who protect them all, then fuck them.

    If all the Magicians are aware of the situation do you think they would be quiet? they conspire to commit magicide? genocide? bleh

    Like

    1. The entire point is that she’s trying to follow the story, to lead it to the same outcome that was written with what she read. If she did all that, sure it might deal with some problems, but it doesn’t solve the bigger problem that basically the entire world doesn’t like magicians.

      Like

    2. She decide it’s not her role to settle things up, she left that glory to her brother. So he can survive, so he can gain recognition, so he became a full pledged hero, she decide to became the enemy that her brother have to slain. It’s been decided since the beginning of the story.

      Like

  4. she is both physicaly and mentaly strong for a reincarnated child….man if it was me…(idk)
    ..im crying right now (;_;)

    well atleast she can do what she really wanted from the bottom of her heart not as ‘origa’ in the story but her true self.

    thanks for the chapter!!

    Like

  5. This is super interesting, the character is mentally a mess but she’ll eventually grow. I love these types of stories where the MCs aren’t too generic. Thank you for translation ^^

    Like

  6. please I beg you the wait is killing me!

    Thanks for translating such a beautiful story!!!!!

    I would translate if I could but curse my poor intellect that I can’t master a language I’ve been studying for five years!!!

    Like

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