Gomen ne, Onii-sama 3-2

Conflicted feelings.

Gomen ne, Oniisama Chapter 3 part 2

The Villain’s Exhaustion, and the Man Who Offered His Hand


When I dismissed the idea that I was abandoned,【I】was relieved.
When convinced that I was abandoned,【Origa】was furious.
The process that I was longing for, is occurring in front of my eyes in reality, not a story.
With blood that seems strangely real, and the smell of burning.

―I can’t afford to die in a place like this.
―Quickly, I wish this story would end.
―Dying here has no value.
―This is already the end.

While various thoughts passed through my mind, I robotically continued to destroy magic sealing stones.
A simple path. If I encountered a place where it was difficult to use magic, I burned it thoroughly.
I don’t remember how many people I burned in the process, and my memory of the process is rather blurry.
If there’s nobody I don’t want to hurt, I can use my magic with no limit.
I can just burn anything that approaches me.
These small magic sealing stones, I can destroy without difficulty.
But while avoiding attacks by soldiers holding them, in the end I was forced to fight seriously.
By the time I realized I would be injured if I wasn’t careful, the tendon of my left arm had already been slashed.
I continued to lose blood and my consciousness faded, and performing advanced magic became more difficult as my magic power bottomed out.
Still, for the sake of living, I continued to move my body.
Ignoring the reason that I desire survival.

While I continued this way, mechanically reacting, someone jumped out in front of me.
Before I even registered it someone called my name.
They called me, grabbed my hand, and then I finally realized it was an ally.


The voice I hear startles me- oh, this is a dream.
Although I somehow managed to open my mouth with my mind still clouded, my voice didn’t come out well.
I called the one with black hair with a hoarse voice, and his stiff face relaxed a little.

“Hey, show me your arm. You haven’t burned the wound closed yet?”

His face distorts with anxiety as he grabs my arm, wearing a navy military uniform.
Oh right, this is a battlefield.
I have to report since he’s wearing a commander’s uniform. I try to speak.
They aimed at the moment when it was my turn to sleep. I was tired by continuous battle. My mana was running out.
Things like that aren’t valid excuses, a voice reproaches in my head.
Because, the magicians he entrusted, the magicians who trusted me, I

“….couldn’t protect”

I should have protected them.
Perhaps he heard my lightly muttered words, since he took his hands away from my arm, and with a slight moment of hesitation touched my head.
I thought his fingers would get dirty, but it’s probably fine since this is a dream, so I didn’t say it.
If this is a dream, he can’t be defiled by my sins.
While I gazed vaguely at his eyes with my vision blurred, I quietly whispered in a voice as low as I could make it.

“You’ve already retreated.”

As I speak, the ivy crawls around the ground with Atlas at the fulcrum.
From what I’ve read, I think this is a magic for finding enemies?
Indeed, I feel like it was only used a single time for this in the story.
To show the backline support character as the main character on the front lines, it’s funny how inconsistent this dream is.
Within my shaking line of sight, is a happy vision.
Atlas, who is a supporting character, one of the main character’s friends, is using magic for my sake. He’s concerned for me.
What a happy dream this is.
As if this were the center of the story.
As if I were-

“Why, here?”
“I came to rescue you. The others are creating a diversion… oh, that large flame over there.”

Atlas pointed towards the roar of flame rising for just a moment far away in the forest, and I turned my gaze sluggishly towards it.

And, all at once I woke up to the bright color of the flames.
Whose flame it is, I determine in an instant.
―So, this is reality?

I thrust away Atlas with a slight feeling of guilt and responsibility towards him, and take some distance with what little strength I have left.
In front of him, who stares at me with surprise visible in his wide eyes, I spoke.


There’s no reason for help to be here.
How much time has already passed since then?
Since the fort was recaptured. Since the magicians all died. Since I sent the last rescue signal.
My head works slowly, and I push the senseless jumble of emotions and words from my mouth.

“Sent a rescue signal… but, Harvester-sama, ….abandoned..”
“Hey, Origa?”

What am I saying? And Atlas is reaching out to me with his hands.
The hands of salvation that I’ve seen in my dreams- I knock down the illusion to break it, and raise my voice.
In my head【I】am calm and looking for the enemy, whispering, and【Origa】burning with anger is shouting that she’ll burn everything.

“The fort!”

My voice, trembles.
In truth I don’t want, to see reality.
In truth, I want to immerse myself in this dream.

“I know that the fort was recaptured! But, how many days have passed since then? Even though we were so close by, not Harvester-sama, nobody came to help!”

One person, and then another, pierced through by a sword, and killed.
The healing magic can’t keep up, and blood continues to spill, and body parts are lost, unable to bear the pain I continued to keep our hope burning with my flames.
Nevertheless, they continued to die, smiling while dying in pain, believing help will come soon, burned into my mind forever.
Those who wanted to live, would die. Those who wanted to die, asked for my flame.
We risked danger to send the signal to request aid into the sky many times.
But every time we fired it into the sky, despair called to us, little by little.
It seemed, that I was watching【my】end.

“Don’t touch me.”

At the recaptured fort, an unfamiliar knight order and Harvester-sama’s flags have been raised.
Meaning, that it is protected by the hands of a knight order and the magicians.
If there were only knights in that fort, his majesty would be forced to wave his hands helplessly. But, if Harvester-sama’s flag is also raised, magicians are also there.
That’s why, I continued to send the rescue signal with a sense of hope- Not just the soldiers, but even the magicians fighting on the same battlefield as their fellow magicians, why do they abandon their brothers?
Why is something like this permitted, even if it’s the way it was written in the story?

I am a villain.
If you want to kill me, if you want to bring me into it, then just focus on me.
There are countless sacrifices in the background of the story. However, they do not appear in the eyes of the heroes.
That’s why, I wasn’t aware of such a reality.
A villain standing by the hero, what kind of story led to this?
Was I toyed with and left in this wilderness?
What might he be thinking, standing here?

“What do you intend to do? For this person whom you abandoned, what use do you have?”

In the end I, Origa, an abominable magician will only be a problem in the times to come.
This country decided so, and cut me off.
Ignoring everything【Origa】has done so far to protect this country.
Even though we’re magicians the same, they take the face of the victims.
Acting like【Origa】is the one who carries all the sins.
The nature to betray. To sell off. To toy with. To step on dignity. To use hostages as shields. To be a great sinner and kill many.
The tendency to create the【Princess of the Inferno】- in the middle of killing me off, is justice pretending to reach me?¹

“Answer me. If you don’t intend to answer-“

Depending on his answer, I might burn him to death.
I begin to refine heat with my magic.
I may not have enough mana to kill him in one shot, but it doesn’t matter.
Even if the first shot fails, I’ll keep going, as many times as necessary.
Because, I can’t afford to die in a place like this.

But, Atlas’s low voice doused my spirit with cold water.

“My father, died when the fort fell.”

It seemed as if he struggled to force each word out, watching me with a stiff gaze. He spoke, with no eloquence in his serious words, that it wasn’t a joke.
My concentration collapsed, the magic I was forming falling apart.

“Something, like that,”

Harvester-sama, the guardian of the hero, stayed alive until the time the Princess of the Inferno died.
That’s why, I wasn’t concerned at all about leaving Harvester-sama at the fort.
【The Magician and the Country of Night】is a story where nobody except the villains will die.
The protagonists will face many hardships, but will succeed in the end, that kind of story.
It should be a story of such a righteous path.

But, I distorted the story.
This influence, did it cause the death of someone who should have lived?
This influence, did it cause my deployment to become so insane?
Since what time were the gears of this world so twisted?

―For the answer, since when did I turn my eyes away?

Although Atlas’s hand once again takes my arm as I stand dumbfounded, this time I don’t have the energy to ward him off.
He lightly grasped my left arm with his right, and spoke quietly to me.

“….Press it. Although this will only serve as first aid, it’ll close your wound for the time being.”

Slowly, the healing magic soaked into my arm, mending the wound from which blood continued to flow.
Even if it’s connected, I don’t know if I’ll be able to move it again.
There’s no need to waste magic on something like this.
Even though I tried to say thus, the words didn’t come out from my hazy mind.

“My father”

Perhaps, the magic Atlas used also had a sedative effect.
My emotions that refused to listen to his quiet words, gradually calmed down.

“I’m sure, was worried about you until the end.”

If it was Harvester-sama, definitely.
The feeling of a large hand, stroking my head.
Larger than Atlas’s, and warmer.
The face behind the hand is always smiling.

“There are a lot of people that would prefer if you didn’t return. ….But, I’ve made a promise to bring you back to the guy who is praying for you to return.”

Who on earth are you talking about?
I slaughtered many magicians, many enemies. I stand on a pile of corpses.
Who on earth, would pray for me?

“Let’s go back, Origa.”²

My thoughts are jumbled. I have no ideas. I don’t know what I should choose.
But, through my view blurred by tears, my trembling hand gripped the steady one offered to me.
Watching, as my blood slowly stained Atlas’s dark blue uniform.


TN Notes
1. The kanji 癖 is used for each of these short lines, which means something along the lines of habit/nature/tendency. However, in English rather than a feeling of repetition and emphasis it just ends up seeming draggy because the words are too long :( So, I just included it once.

2. Uses verb to return, which is specifically used to return “home” or something similar

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Gomen ne, Onii-sama 3-1

Ehum… sorry about the delay, I was feeling lazy…  (。・ ω<)ゞ

On to chapter 3, a time skip, and a new point of view… at least, for this part.
I’m 99% sure it’s from Atlas’s perspective.
Also an important note, take all the translations of rank/title stuff with a grain of salt, because I’m not putting a lot of effort into determining what’s above what, and it’s entirely possible that I’ve translated some wrong.
Three different important people here – the head, blond hair messenger, gray hair old guy. Don’t ask me if you actually need to remember them.


Gomen ne, Oniisama Chapter 3 part 1

-The Villain’s Absence, and the Man Who Would Risk His Life-


Through the efforts of the Fifth Knight Corps, the recapture of the fort was successful.
But, the detached force had their retreat cut off and were erased.
Although at first they fired many flares requesting aid, the number slowly reduced as time passed, until finally, not a single flare rose.
A notice was sent indicating that a rescue attempt should be made, along with an order to wait― Surely, the relief troops would be sent, they believed.

The messenger who brought the notice that she should be honored as the【Protector of the Country】the next day, never changed his expression.



It suddenly became noisy outside of where I was taking a nap, so I got out of bed in case of a raid.

It’s not impossible.
We’re quite tired, having spent all our energy recapturing the fort.
It’s not strange for an attack to occur before order is properly established.
I hail the soldiers who are passing by in a hurry, and follow them to see what’s causing the commotion.
Looking into the crowd in the dining hall, the people in the center are the head and my best friend-

“We’re moving to try to find her current position. It’s not something you need to worry about.”
“You’re checking, and that’s it? When will you send real aid?”
“You’re being disrespectful. Down, Gilford.”

While he closed his mouth and seemed daunted by the head’s low voice for a moment, he moved his grip from the head’s arms, and raised his voice at the messenger once again.
The messenger fended off his grasp with a tired face, rather easily, since it’s a conversation they’ve already repeated many times.
―This is Origa’s problem to face. If someone were to intrude excessively, it would probably only make the situation more complicated.

“Stop it. She said to deal with the things on our end. We sent soldiers to check as soon as the enemies retreated.”
“That is to say, you’ve given up on rescuing the unit led by Origa?”
“You can take it as such. I doubt headquarters will care.”

From the lip I bit, there was a slight taste of blood.
The knight order that was only just founded.
Right now they’re only an order in name.
They were forced to carry out the strategy without any countermeasures against the magic sealing stones, but succeeded unexpectedly thanks to Gil’s strange magic.
Originally, they were just a throwaway pawn, to earn some time.
Even if they’ve made some achievements, they’re still looked at as a mere group of commoners lead by the head.
The head who knows he has no power to speak here clenched his fist silently.

“There are companions seeking relief in front of us! They’re close enough for us to help! …..Why are you abandoning them!”
“I’ve made my decision. I can’t afford to put the fort in danger right now. I’m sorry for Origa, but I can’t justify risking a fort to retrieve a dead body.”

Everyone was already thinking it somewhere in their hearts.
The signal for requesting aid was interrupted a long time ago.
The number of remaining mages that could be confirmed by telescope was only three- and that was half a day ago.
Before the shock of those words of the commander could even spread through all the soldiers in the room, a cold voice echoed through the room.

“Origa is alive.”

In the air that filled with a sudden silence, the messenger realized his slip of the tongue, and cleared his throat in the silence.

“….I apologize, but there has been no evidence of the use of fire magic from the beginning. The only reasonable conclusion is that she has died.”

The battle that occurred around the fort was intense. It took three days for the fort to fall.
It’s difficult for a magician to continue fighting without food or rest.
Magic is powerful, but a mage’s body is no different than that of an ordinary human.
Everyone knows that.
That’s why, there is no credibility in his words of survival.

“Origa is, still alive.”

Gilford, realizing that his words had no persuasive power, held his left shoulder with his hand, and repeated his words under his breath.
The blonde haired messenger let out a sigh, spread his arms towards Gilford, and spoke loudly to the crowd.

“Then who do you intend to send to the rescue? This country will fall into a crisis again if we reduce the strength of this fort. ―No, are you planning to throw yourself out there?”
“That’s right.”
“Ridiculous. Your ability to destroy the magic sealing stones is an important source of hope for this country. The first thing we need to do is analyze how you destroy them.”

It seems to be so? He looked around and smiled, as everyone watching was not willing to respond to his remarks.

“Magicians are becoming useless in this era anyways. Rescuing her while sacrificing the lives of valuable soldiers, what use will it have in the future?”

By those words, I finally made up my mind.

“―I suppose, that I’ll go. I won’t force all of you, but I do request your help. It’s rough with just me.”

I raise my voice, and move to the center of the vortex of people.
When the messenger heard my words while wearing a dubious expression, their eyes opened wide in surprise.

“I’m a magician. As long as the magic sealing stones are on the battlefield, I’m not a fighting force.”
“Such a thing…! You are the heir of the Harvester family, it wouldn’t do for you to waste your life on something like this.”
“The Harvesters are a clan of magicians. I believe it was you that said magicians will be useless on the battlefield…. So that means?”

When I returned the messenger’s previous words pointedly, they looked down while their face was stretched by embarrassment.

“But, isn’t her survival hopeless? To send soldiers for her alone, is too wasteful.”
“What foolish words. Even if the Countess was killed, she is a noble woman who is a member of the royal family, and there is no mistake that she is a hero of this country. This is a problem related to the morale of the whole country. We have to go if only for the sake of mourning her death.”

If Origa is dead, it’s highly likely that my efforts will be in vain on the battlefield, and I will die easily as a magician.
It’s normal to think that Origa Emelda Ruzil is dead.
It was one day ago that we confirmed signs of a battle, and there were no signs of any magic from it.
Even I have half given up on her survival.
But, if Gil who was given that scar by her says it-

“And, as an individual- I bet on Gil’s words. She is not dead.”

Perhaps, Origa is still alive.
I show a smile, and Gil shows a surprised expression, and I look at the gray haired man left over. (TN: Not the messenger.)

“Then, if you go to rescue her and fall, what will happen? Your predecessor died in this fort, and even if you haven’t officially inherited the title yet, you are the head of the Harvester family. Is it not your responsibility to be the leader?”

The gray haired man’s words struck directly at the heavy stone in my heart.
The responsibility as the head of the clan.
The heavy duty for the clan of many magicians responsible for the country.
The invisible chains that were carried by the successive heads.
If I were to deny his words, and take my own path, it would be to deny all the struggles of my fathers.

“The Harvesters”

Still, a smile comes to my face as I continue speaking.
I ran away from it a long time ago; I ran away and wanted to escape.
I was frightened by the figure of my friend struggling under that weight, and aimed to become a knight.

“The blood of the Harvesters is too thin. My family is already gone. The number of magicians that can truly claim the name of our clan can be counted on one hand. I don’t yet have a child- therefore, I believe my cousin will lead well. I appoint him as the successor.”

Now that I’ve put it into words, how silly it sounds.
―In the past, the Harvesters were not a【magic clan】.
That heavy chain that I am supposed to inherit from my father has already rusted and decayed like the rest of the house.
In the future, being part of the Marquis family will only bring pain.
Even if the last one to realize it is myself, it’s fine to reach out to a friend when you’re suffering.

“…..Do as you like.”
“You will be silent. If this insult to milord Harvester continues on any longer, I’ll be forced to report it to the upper level.”

The blond haired soldier was silenced by the gray haired soldier’s words.
―The negotiation has come.
Now, I turn my attention to the one standing next to me.
I grab his arm as he insists that I don’t go, and whisper in his ear.

“Gil, listen. Even my father was let down. Those of the upper class don’t care what happens to the magicians.”
“That is…”

Even though the one defending the fort was the head of the Harvester family, they made no efforts to send relief quickly.
As a result, the fort that was defended mainly by magicians fell.
Was it the work of those who would sell out the country, or an act caused by the disgust for magicians? Although it wasn’t possible to determine until now, it seems it’s the latter.
But even if they dislike it, if there is an existence that can destroy the cause of this overwhelmingly disadvantageous situation-
According to the reaction of the gray haired man, they’ll ignore our actions of attempting to rescue Origa.

“Their objective is you. Please, buy as much time as you can.” (Atlas)
“…..I understand.”

一After receiving his confirmation, I let go of him.
Take this, please, and give it to her, Gil muttered, and I laughed while putting the small package he handed me into my bag.

I roughly understand how Origa treated him.
Still, whether it’s because he’s a naive person who’s worrying about his sister, or because he understands her true nature- that conclusion came out a long time ago.
You should do it more completely if you’re going to push him away, is what I thought when I was told that【secret】by Gil.
While feeling a little funny, I looked indifferently back at the head to convey that I’d be handing Gilford over to him for now, and looked back at the messenger while raising my voice unnecessarily loud.

“Shall we find some land for Gilford Ivaris in my territory?” (99% this line is wrong.)

At those words, the messengers showed shocked expressions.

“I believe his Majesty is going to grant them some territory as a reward for recapturing this fort?” (TN: Them = 5th Knight Corps, I presume.)
“But, it’s not very close to the battlefield? We will need Gilford Ivaris for the battles that are to come―”
“If this doesn’t go through, I have no way to persuade Gilford. I’m sorry, but I’d like to convince this stonehead myself, without having the royalty intervene. I doubt that he will seriously obey your orders.”

As soon as we recaptured the fort, the information that one of the magic sealing stones was successfully destroyed was sent to the Imperial City.
But, perhaps due to the complexity of the procedure, Gilford was not formally summoned by the royalty.
As it is, his mission to【protect the fort with the Fifth Knight Order】remains unchanged.
If we plan to take action outside of our duties, some concession is necessary.
I turn my gaze towards the gray haired soldier who appears to be the one in control, and he nodded reluctantly.

“….I agree.”

When I turned back to the head who was watching silently, he nodded to show that he accepted the deal.
His testimony, if it becomes necessary in an emergency, may have its reliability questioned because of his social position.
The head has no backing. If any pressure is put on him, he will fall.
However, he led me when I was lost, he forgave the path I chose, and he’s someone I rely on more than anyone else.
Now that my father is dead, he’s the only one I’m willing to entrust with my close friend.

“Head, thank you for always supporting me.”

To the head who banged my head lightly with an astringent face, I lowered my head with a feeling of nostalgia.
As I jump into the battlefield as a magician, already, I may never see this mentor again.’
I raised my head to announce our departure, shaking away the sentimentality.

“It’s as you heard! Please, help!”

When I call out to the restless audience, their eyes all wander elsewhere.
To go rescue Origa, it’s doubtful whether or not they’ll return alive.
We don’t know if she’s alive in the first place.
If you think about this as one who protects the country, as a knight, the defense of this fort is more important than the life or death of one person.
Even if they’re a magician- no, especially if they’re a magician, they will definitely die if they leave this fort and a magic sealing stone is present.
For anyone to volunteer would be surprising.
Even a single person choosing to volunteer would impress me.

“I will go.”
“…..it will be dangerous.”

A woman with short hair inhales, and pushes her way through the crowd to come forward.
Her face seems familiar, but only vaguely. She claims to be a follower of Origa.
When I asked her if she would prioritize a new leader of the Ruzil over Origa, she replied with a small smile, “I would not.”

“To me, before being the Ruzil family head, she is the benefactor who found me. If it’s to help Origa, I’m not afraid of the magic sealing stones. For the Ruzil- please, use my life.”

Seeing a woman kneeling and making such a wish, several magicians and soldiers follow.
Each of them told me, that Origa had helped them before.
Looking around, no one else is willing to volunteer. I tell them that I have no intention to blame them for turning away their eyes.

Thus, I received permission to attempt a rescue in exchange for the custody of my best friend- Gilford.



After the magic sealing stones began to appear three or four years ago, the magicians became increasingly useless in combat.
一Even if they face a single ordinary soldier, if that soldier carries a magic sealing stone, they become helpless to resist him.
Because of this, magicians are simply assigned one to a squadron for assistance, but the non-magicians don’t feel very satisfied.
On the battlefield, even an intermediate magician is seen as nothing more than luggage.

The once glamorous era of magicians, is over.

My friend will be injured easily, a woman, and in addition, without any of the standard training soldiers receive.
Even though she has an absurd amount of magic, it would be difficult for her to fight back once surrounded by enemy soldiers with magic sealing stones.
No matter how excellent a mage you are, if you continue using magic without a break, your mana will run out, and you will die.
It’s only a matter of time.
That’s why Gil suspected that Origa was hiding her expressions.

While running through the bushes while holding my body low, I heard a roaring sound.
Looking back a bit, a large red pillar of flame is visible.
The amount of flame, its momentum, it’s all impeccable.
However, while it certainly seems similar to Origa’s flames- it won’t be able to fool the enemy for long.
The difference between her and her follower is not the number of years they’ve practiced.
Above all, Origa’s characteristic is her inexhaustibly large, uncountable amount of mana.
An amount of mana that makes me unable to believe that Origa is able to bear it without screaming.
An amount of mana that would take any ordinary mage hundreds of years of training to catch up with.
That’s it.

Through a thin strand of ivy I stretched over the ground to find the enemy, I feel someone’s touch.
Hidden in a trunk just wide enough to conceal my body, while manipulating the thin ivy, I was able to determine the number of people surrounding the ivy.

―One person in the shade of the rock, four people in the grove.

I touch the sword attached to my waist while adjusting my breath, and begin preparing magic.
While I don’t intend to fight this number of people with a sword, it’s possible that using magic will attract reinforcements if this takes too long.
It’s possible to knock them out quickly with magic, but if more soldiers come with magic sealing stones, the number of people I knock out won’t make any difference.
A little unsure, I removed the hand I had on the sword.
If I use magic, then I’ll do it with a single blow.

The whip that I sent from the trunk, before it could kill its target- was burned instantly by a bright fire.
I avoided the fireball by rolling sideways, and heard the screams of men from the grove.

From the shadow of the rock, I am very familiar with the person who comes out.
The apex of magicians, the symbol, the protector of the country.
Always full of confidence, always dependable, always an unshakeable existence.


However, the eyes of my friend who looked back were blank.
Her left arm was dyed more red than her eyes.
From the fingertip of her dangling left hand, blood slowly dripped.
Dyed with mud and blood, the pale-faced Origa was there.

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